Sponsor

He got a sponsor thinking he would benefit from having someone yell at him, to be the conscience he doubts he has. It is a different dependency. That he feels a need for it is not helpful.

Spiritual and Sober

He is being spiritual in order to be sober, but the focus on sobriety limits the prospect of spirituality being realized. To try to focus on only one aspect of being is to not realize that we are not spiritual to a specific end. We are spiritual, and to have a focus to to have less freedom rather than more.

Cycle of Cruelty

Following their first act of cruelty came others to keep them dominant over those they had injured, fearful always of retaliation. Over time there were only more and more cruel acts, more people injured and so more vengeance to fear. They needed with each act to feel increased justification for what they had done, and their fear turned injured people to a thread against which they must be vigilant and pre-emptive in their attacks. They blamed victims for being angry, pressing the repression more tightly, and so compressing and solidifying the rage. Where retaliation did seep out it seemed a massive dose of new cruelty was the only remedy considered, and so the cycle spun faster with less likelihood it could be controlled.

Head vs. Heart

After a lengthy and reasoned discussion chaired by my head, it was my heart that decided, as it always has.

Reasons

Reasons to be different are better than reasons not to continue as we are.

Most of All

Dorothy would miss Scarecrow most of all. She would miss the others too, but there can be only one "most of all" person. We each have one.

No Winning

Trying to meet the needs of others we will probably satisfy no one for very long, not even ourselves, but unfortunately we would be unsatisfied as well if we did not try. No winning there.

Baggage

The aim is to have less baggage, but we instead keep accumulating. We gather thoughts, ideas, elaborations on them all and any number of speculation that we treat as fact. Instead of adding to our books (and this one as well) we should be tearing out their pages. Instead, we go on gathering and filing it away, saving all those impressions, musings, and their pretense to truth.

Un-nameable

It seems the more we try to say about God the more do we undo his nature. The more too we try to formulate our belief the less significance it seems to have. The more structured and formal the process, the greater the control over it and the more predictable it becomes, the less there actually is.

Wish

I wish sometimes (but not too seriously) I were an alcoholic. Then I could go to meetings and pretend myself less alone.

Not All Things Work Out

Despite what we might wish were so, not all things work out; and despite what we might do, some of them never will. It is not anyone's fault, though it would be were we to try to force things to accommodate more than they can or were we to insist people become other than who they are. Then it would be our fault for failing to realize life simply is -- it is neither good nor bad; and people -- despite what we may sometimes think -- are already doing as well as they can.

A Better Direction

Going on the basis of pain and how to stop it is less effective than focusing on what is good and how it might become better.

Worrying

When we worry about what might go wrong we have unlimited possibilities. Worrying about what could actually go wrong narrows the field, but it is still large enough to keep us busy for a long while. Only when we decide to worry about what actually will go wrong have we nothing to do, since that is what cannot be know and so need cause us no concern.

The Company You Keep

Why is it a surprise when crazy people hanging out with crazy people are still crazy?

Which God's Favor

To gain the favor of a cruel and judging God profits you little. With a kinder God favor is never the issue.

The Disciples in the Boat

They saw him on shore and knew who he was. They would whisper his name to one another, and Peter plunged ahead to be as soon with him as he could, but not even he would call him by name. We may find it strange and might wonder were they embarrassed by him. He was supposed to be dead, and we can sometimes be uncomfortable with those people, even though they be our friends, who do not follow the rules. Or maybe the rules had changed, or else they feared they had changed, and when uncertain which rules apply we can sometimes avoid the disappointment of choosing the wrong ones if we say nothing. Saying nothing, calling people and things by no name, hiding in silence lest speaking hurt: it is not as uncommon as it might seem.

Parenting Between Extremes

We believe some days we are providing our children with enduring values. We hope other days we have not caused them too much harm. The truth lies somewhere between the two.

We Can Be Fair

We can wish life were fair but the only choice is that we be fair. It would be nice if there were justice, with good rewarded and evil set aside, but that does not occur, except in those instances where we decide to reward the goodness we recognize.

Not Needed

There are a number of people who do not need what we might offer. They can handle life on their own. It seems to annoy us.

New Tears

Is it progress to now cry over something else? It is not sadder, only newer, and the feeling does not change.

Wishes

There are times when what we wish were so will not be. It is no less sad for the realization that it is what passes for best.

Leibowitz's List

I finally understood how those who found Leibowitz's list could invest it with such value. It was not what he had written, but that it had been written at all. Content was not as significant as the fact.

God or Us

Time spent looking at God's nature is time unavailable to reflect upon our own. Time spent speculating about what God does, or ought to do, is time unavailable for being our self.

Looking

He looks at those around him. Is he looking for someone with a similar feeling, to share his with us, or does he want to confirm it is all right to feel it on his own?

The Distress We Carry

Growing old enables you to relinquish fears and anxieties that are more global in nature, passing them to another generation who may agonize about them if they wish, becoming angered and pained by what ought not to be. It is the role of younger people to become distraught and demanding of change. It is something to occupy them in the days between childhood and a time of quiet. Hopefully, they will be more ready to see and accept the quiet, more willing to relinquish the world's distress, and maybe one day there will be no distress to let go of, no anxiety to pass on.

Unknown Travelers

At different junctures we will meet the people who will accompany us on the next aspect of our journey. Some will be longer with us and some we should not overtax by asking them to come farther than they can.

Seeking Immortality

Immortality as a goal inclines people to some foolish behavior. In order to be remembered they can be destructive as readily as they might be creative. To incline history's judgment in their favor they are liable to settle for the dramatic, rather that consider what might actually be helpful. This immortality seems such a self-centered inclination. Seeking it with such determination invests it with a false value, a value neither faithful to individuals or to humanity as a whole. Better to seek nothing.

Complicating

There are few things so simple I cannot complicate or obscure them given enough time.

Hiding Ourselves

There is an inclination to hide ourselves in how we distort others. If we can focus on their weakness we will not have to deal with their strength, and if we see only what they do wrong we can overlook -- and so need never respond to -- what they do well.

One Person's Moan

I was told I sometimes moan, but it is of course only breathing; and they say I shuffle and mope along, though I am really conserving energy and so move more slowly. They thing I am depressed, while I call it being reflective. Sometimes they are right.

The Constant Center

Despite what I say and what I really mean, I do not like change. I do not like it happening and I do not like having to do it. I would be delighted if this chair were the center of the universe, and around it occurred whatever changes were needed, while the center remained constant.