Kinship With Jesus

Had Jesus remained transfigured, he would have lost his kinship with those he had brought to this mountain.  His radiance would have intruded upon the bond between them.  Perhaps he was, underneath it all, a person whose garments were meant to shine, but that would be no more than a barrier were it to remain.  People can marvel for a little while in the face of such glory but marveling is not sharing.  It is too one-sided to permit communication.  Whatever it might have foreshadowed, their relationship was grounded in a moment that could not be wasted on too much of the brilliance and brightness of transfiguration, and so it was ended.

Knowing The Truth

Knowing what is true means the issue is incorporated rather than having to find ways to pretend it is not so.

More Time For Life

The longer we defend, the less time will we have for life.  The hiding intrudes.  That is all it does.

The Unexamined Contract

Since he got sick he seems bewildered, uncertain who to blame and for the moment he attaches his anger and disappointment to almost anyone or anything.  He has yet to blame God, though I think he may want to.  It was with God he had made what seemed an agreement -- well-being in exchange for praise and compliance.  His belief allowed for a notion such as "testing," but because he already had such a firm belief he doubted the need for "tests" in his own life.  No, it must be because of someone or something else.  In the meantime, the landlord, the city government, the water department, the newspaper, and a few others will have to suffice.  They get to be blamed for their limitations, and the limitations in what seemed a contract can go unexamined.

Being Well

We are good at getting better, but have trouble being well.

Life Is Like Life

Life is like life.  It is not like our fantasy about it.

The Extra Person

I have for some time been the extra person, the one single among couples or the one who brings the children.  I have not minded the role and at times have not found it an uncomfortable one, but neither is there anything satisfying in it, and as the boys are getting older I could do without it.  I am tired of being alone, alone at least as I have become.  I have no interest in marriage and like the independence that begins at my door, but it is sometimes less independent than it is lonely.

Simple Therapy

The simpler the therapy, the more readily does the process become for the clients.  There is no need to know everything in order to make significant changes and causes (specifically when it is more speculation than fact) need not be pursued.  Therapy should offer points of reference, true statements as universal as possible in their application; and freedom to question what choices are truly available.  In the very beginning ownership by the client has to be established, as does the therapist's role as consultant and sometimes teacher -- but not as healer, and never as magician.

Action and Procrastination

The difference was her ability to say what was best and do it because it was best.  His tendency was to acknowledge the fact that yet, there was a better way, but he could also temporize, postponing the action and hoping it might not be necessary.

Toward the Future, Away From the Past

To move closer to what might be is not the same as moving away from what has so far been.  Those things already are and so their significance is assured.

Standing Aside

It has been a long time in changing but there is a sense of change, a sense that maybe it will be O.K., that nothing need be done other than standing aside.

Fear of the Convergence

There are aspects of my life I should think of reconciling, allowing them to come together to the extent they might be able to, yet my inclination is to protect them by separating, keeping them at a distance, each one distinct, each complete and exclusive.  It is as though approaching one another might endanger them all.  It evidences a lack of trust, a fear of losing something (or of having something be lost), but trust is always the problem.  It is hard to trust people with whom important aspects of life are shared.  It is hard lest they be hurt in the convergence.

Naming Therapy

Retrospectively we know what we do and we call it therapy once it gets beyond technique.

Less Crazy

One thing we might do is tell people they are less crazy than they had feared, even if it will make our treatment of them less spectacular.

We, The Bullies

There is an invasion of Panama, not unlike the incursion into Lebanon or assaults on Haiti, Grenada, the unsuccessful attack on Cuba, and last century's assault that gave Teddy Roosevelt a hill to charge.  It is also how some would like to handle Nicaragua, and maybe Colombia too.  There is assumption of a right that does not exist, a role based on size and presumed power.  It is triggered more by this nation's vexation than by anything else and is more a reflection of annoyance at differences that should not concern us.  It is as though the violence were the response we all along had in mind.  It was waiting to be vented so it could build again into a new confrontation.  Perhaps, like other bullies, there is uncertainty about self at the base of this action.  Maybe it is fear we might be ignored if we did not bellow once in awhile.  Perhaps, while the violent inclinations of our country cannot be ignored, its opinions will be.  Our deeds undermine and devalue our words.  Beside what we say is that inability to wait, to trust in time and to trust the people on whom we would intrude.

It is the failure to recognize the rights of Panamanians as being "theirs," their country's paths being theirs to choose and it is doubting that they would on their own see the value of what we might offer.  No nation -- not even those we treat as inferiors (while nodding to their sovereignty) -- is better for being assaulted.  No one is going to thank us for the destruction, no matter how we might think it is for their own good.

We would, as a nation, be better off saying this violence is the mark of our immaturity, our fear and supposed self-interest.  It would only be true and might take the deceit away since it masks what we do only from ourselves.

The Insecure Psychologist

There is in psychology an inclination to find the most obscure or esoteric explanation, though others are available.  It calls for elaborate, and so tangential, reasoning, preferring it to the more obvious, more direct, explanation.  Perhaps this tendency speaks to our insecurity.

Not for the Bucket List

While there may be things we might yet want to do, we should be able to say the more essential aspects of life are up to date.

Opinions vs. Advice

When you ask some people what they think, they answer with what you should do.  They have either misunderstood the question or their role.

Choice of Therapy

The type of therapy we practice is determined by the degree of trust we can place in others, among other things.

Before Enlightenment

He started with answers to questions he had neither the sense nor the experience even to ask.  His answers sounded more profound than reasonable and required none of the sensitivity with which life might have tempered them had he waited.  It is all right sometimes to be pompous and so absolute, as long as the matter can be re-opened once reality has dawned.

Never Mind The iPhone

Why ever would someone want a car phone.  There are few enough private places and few of us are in such demand.

Sincerity

Sincerity is not lacking, and they are good, but that does not make them any more effective, or any less dull.

Storyline

Maybe it comes of watching so many movies, but we still expect more drama, more clarity (and maybe even some background music) than life can provide.

Dad - 4 years

Losing Jake

No matter what else we might talk about we at some point come back around to the talk of the old days, a period of two or three (and certainly no more than four) years that have been the foundation of all the rest.  They were the friendships that were best and things done together, and none of them could have had the same meaning were they not shared.  Now, as it was when it all began, there is Jake.  He is at the center of the recollection, as he was when it happened -- and as he will be as often as we have these conversations.

There was no question that he was the leader, even if no one ever needed to say so.  He was funny, intense, alert, concerned, and any number of other things.  Beneath them by only a bit was the rage that may in the meantime have caused him to lose himself.

Why Have Rules

There are too many exceptions.  So many, there is little point in having any rule at all.  They keep it to complain about and to blame when things go poorly.

Guilt In Control

It is not bad because you feel guilty but you still feel guilty, and so it has control.  That means it is compulsion.  There is in the "have to-ness" of feeling bad an absence of choice.

What Makes A Gift

Is it still a gift if no one wants it?  Is the value in what it meant to the giver or must the receiver concur?

Prejudices or Principles

There are ideas and sometimes prejudices pretending to be principles, and there are people killing and dying in the name, who believe it is the basis or their value, or immortality.

Leave The Past

Where did we learn it?  Do we still want it to be true?  Would it be O.K. if it changed?  It would be if you left it alone.  The sense you can rescue the child of then and alter the rule gets in your way.

Hidden Memories

I have memories hidden all over, like squirrel has hidden his winter store.  I know where some are and can find them when I choose.  Others (and maybe most) I stumble over having forgotten they were here here and of those some are more sad for being only memories but others are delights.

Savoring Each Moment

There is a certain rush to complete things, to get them quickly done, hurtling steps along the way.  Better to savor instead each moment and in arriving there will be no sense we are not them home.