Living With the Rules

Once there is a rule -- be it, "I don't drink," or "I am not going to be satisfied," or any other -- it becomes the framework in which all else can or cannot happen, making it important to realize that apart from what is actually said there are the rules.  Therapy is in assessing them, and in altering, eliminating or replacing them so that those remaining enhance the process of living.  In doing this realize that some rules are better in the abstract, and that some will be inferred from what people do rather than from what is said.  Know too that people are not always aware that things have acquired the status of rules within their lives, and that they may have thought themselves operating with an entirely different system than is actually the case.