Reduced to Giving and Receiving

Were we to live in terms of someone else's need, or what we thought his need might be, we would be doing no service to that person nor to ourselves.  It would be making giving the essential aspect of our being, and receiving the essence of him.  It is intruding into the person's life, obliging him to receive -- and there is as well an expectation that he be grateful for the gift he may not have wanted.  If he is not grateful we might even blame him, accusing him of being unappreciative.  We might respond by giving even more if he does not respond, but we might also resent event more -- as might he as well.